smvanr

Minor grammar/style issues. The biggest one I'm noticing is misplaced/missing commas, which just help sentence flow. “So, Jackie , what do you do?” I asked. “Yup , he is the ...

Great lead in! I'm loving it already. The one thing is that I can't really tell if Ali cares a lot about Sara or not. They used to be best ...

theLockedLibrary said a lot of it for me. :o You definitely have an interesting story that could go somewhere if you review and edit it to make the storyline tighter. ...

Hi, I'm Stef and I'm here to look at your article. (: I actually like the idea you have going here, it's really neat and a fun short-read. I can ...