smorgishborg

Breakfast With a satisfying sound, halfway between a clink and a clunk, the metal rods locked into place. In moments, electricity began to course through the long sinewy forms of ...

Curious. Thats really my end reaction. I have mixed feelings about this. Lets start with what I know: + The bold was distracting and annoying. So were the spaces. Please ...

Well done.

Hehe. Plots don't happen overnight! Well, maybe this one did. You know what? I felt more comfortable with your earlier dialogue. I think you were more at home with the ...

Very good, very well practiced. This has no elementary problems, but I'm sure you know this... I defer to your theater class. Let me tell you what I was uneasy ...

Thanks for all the comments, as I've said it was an absolutely incredible experience. I'm not from Tibet, and had little connection to it until I met a counselor at ...

Again, the context problem. is this interesting in any way? No. I'm trying to redeem the last minute of my life by writing this critique. YOU NEED A PLOT ARC ...

It kinda bugs me to be critiquing a couple lines of dialogue, because there is no perspective. You won't get any decent advice from anything anybody says on here, because ...

No, it's not a poem about cigarettes. Your common misconception is one of whom is unfamiliar with literary terms and objectives. Touche! It seems to me that this poem tries ...

I'm going back and following up on the poem and the script. Thanks for all the critiques! Kitty: I went back and added commas where I thought there'd be a ...

I thought I'd follow through with a second post on this, since I've gotten a couple things I wanted to touch upon. The first is that I apologize for not ...

The fencing began for me on Saturday. Our school hosted an invitational with 9 other schools besides ourselves attending. It was fun. I drew a terrible pool/fenced poorly, and drew ...

On A Silver Platter

This is in the same vein as your later piece (which I reviewed first), Blue Manhattan. That is; a romantic portrayal of good ol' NYC. I enjoyed this one more ...

Lets be honest with ourselves, it ain't that great. Before this becomes a feature length play, (and it's waaaay to short to be a scene or an act or anything; ...