smorgishborg

This play has been removed because it was terrible. Sorry if you were unfortunate enough to read it. ~ smorg

I'm sorry, but this one does nothing for me. I don't have any questions about your effort, you seemed to be trying, but I felt the effects of a lack ...

Well, it's nice. I enjoyed the roundabout way you approached a rather simple story. couldn 't’t Why did that keep happening? What [s]I[/s] must rank as my greatest success did ...

Interesting... Certainly unique, it all depends on where you go with this. She leaned her head back as she heard someone open the door to the jail. A weird line. ...

I like critiquing your work Kylan, I always have very little to do... EDIT: There you go! Three cheers for my 100th post!

Nah, didn't cut it. Disjointed and rambling. The random bits of actual plot description were kinda useless, better cut them and let the dialogue speak (pun!) for itself. Better yet, ...

Supurb work. I like the complex rhyming, I almost missed it! What I liked the most was the use of toast as a metaphor for the rising oil prices worldwide.. ...

Führer Kylan, I apologize, I've been to busy to tackle the second "Honor" portion. Bear with me, I should get it done no later then Friday. ... URL CODE IS ...

Ever read Harry Turtledove? :D Well, I really enjoy your ideas, and your writing, and your story. But On first read, you lost me utterly and totally. What you need ...

Indeed! Significantly improved!But not perfect. First, I saw two instances of you not capitalizing the name of a character when they deliver a line. Worst case of this was in ...

This is not lyric, nor is it poetry. In fact, I'd shudder to call it literature, the punctuation, spelling, and grammar is awful. Which leads me to ask... what are ...

The main problem wiith this is that I think it's too obscure, too nonsenical, too all-over-the place Yes. Nail/head. It holds some allure, I think, because of it's unconventional treatment ...

This poem displays a fundamental ignorance (possibly disinterest) in what makes a poem engaging to a reader. On some level, the reader must relate to the work. Because of this, ...

First, take a deep breath. In. Out. Now, by joining a writing forum, you ought to be aware that your work will be critiqued, criticized, and misinterpreted. This is not ...

My feelings here are mixed. This is partially the case because this is way to little to work on. If you really want a full critique with full understanding, then ...