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silverthorn

  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: That kid

    sad. But moving. The great (and kind of depressing) thing about this piece is we ALL know that kid. One thing I'd try to develop is the REASON for his ...

    Dec 2, 2008
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Lake Girls (Please Review!)

    You've picked a good scene to open up your story. However, there are a few parts that distracted me. First would be your use of parenthesis. You should try to ...

    Dec 2, 2008
  • General Fiction Novels Re: Ignorance - Part I

    You've got an intriguing start. One thing I noticed about the first paragraph in particular was the use of passive voice. Of course it's okay to use some of the ...

    Dec 2, 2008
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Colorblind

    I. World’s End You. Me. Sitting together in the bed of your dad’s rusty Ford pickup, ages ago. The dust kicked up all around us as we licked orange sherbet ...

    Dec 2, 2008


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