silented1

Foruth line you should apitalize the 'I'. One thing I didn't like about the poem is that I don't know exactly what you're shooting for and what you're leaving behind. ...

In the second line of the poem. Is that lion thing a metaphor? I can't tell. I believe in the first line of the second stanza you need a comma ...

Okay after reading the first line, I am thinking alright a cliche love poem. You should find a different setting. Maybe a solar eclipse? Those are cool and underused. Especially ...

When I view a topic, I can't see the stars or the name or anything for that matter, that's supposed to be in the top left corner. Also if I ...

So first things off, I like how short your poem is.On he same token there won't be much to say. Also your rhyme does feel a tad bit forced... That's ...

Well just reading the rhyme it goes aabbccddeefffgghhii. May I ask why there are 3 F's in the middle? Is that part of some style or whatever?(Forgive the unprofessionalism but ...

You're first stanza seems out of sort with the rest of the poem. And you ask lot of questions, but you don't give a lot of answers. also your poem ...

OH! What bias can you find in one piece! Speaking as a guy, I'd like to say NOT EVERY GUY is like that, naturally. On to my review. So this ...

Just 2 men? What about 2 woman? It should be for everyone lol. And it's okay. No review is nessesary. *thumbs up*

When you use that's the thing in the first stanza(3rd line) It's weird because you didn't set up for it right... It's like you skipped a line... In the second ...

this is awesomely awesome truly awesome!

Its short, so there won't be much to say. I'd love for this to get a setting and place and a story. If you add those 2 with this you ...

I like the first part as it keeps a nice rhythm and tone. As well as it keeps it simple and nice and how it sort of sets a scene, ...

What I don't like is how wordy it is. You have a lot of words here that just create boring images for me. You have good use of personification, when ...

Hardwood floors... Reflecting nonsense back at my battered mind. A simple smile, in all my inner disaster, is all I ask. Yet... My reflection yields nothing. That I'd like to ...