silented1

Summer’s gone, and the birds’ sweet calls have been replaced with the chirping of rain on I like how you reversed chirping and sweet calls. It's a bit different and ...

Ok, so, I just wrote this. It is like, the first poem I've written in about a month... I'm not sure about the title or the end, so please tell ...

This is kind of repetitive, you might want to change that up. and give it a story or something more interesting.

I feel more comfortable in my own skin now. Describe this, not every knows what that is like. That's what high school does to you; that's what friends do to ...

He stood beside me as battles raged. You don't need this line, it's kinda usless. He made sure to let me out of the cage That I was crowded in, ...

The lonely ones In a war-filled world they stand alone. I am thinking this line is unneeded, unless it plays a part further on, I don't believe it is. Their ...

50 balloons drift upwards into the sky, flooding the blue with colours such as green, red and white. How do they float up? Was it like an attacking fleet? Or ...

I am your critic I am your judge Mmmm, it tastes good Judgment does Oh, good god! What does judgment taste like? And remove your first line, I don't think ...

I know I may never get her back, I know that, even as I trace her silhouette, wishing my life wasn't all in shades of black. You're using I a ...

Life goes on slowly but surely Kinda cliche, can't you better show this with some sort of relation to the real world. Something like: Life goes on like a freshly ...

This is far too repetitive. Lose the list and the I do this, I feel this. I am this. It's too repetitive. Your last stanza is better, as it has ...

Kids are piling in, police taking even more, Piling into what? How does that relate to the police unless they're arresting the kids... But that doesn't make a whole lot ...

It's wonderful, The way he looks at me, How does he look at you? A simile or metaphor would be good here because you can say something like: The way ...

Stanzas 5 and 6 are your only good ones, the first 2 lines of stanza 5 are all that are okay from there. All of stanza 6 is good. Everything ...

Buried deep under your skin A monster waits, hidden within You've already said that it's buried deep under your skin, meaning that it's hidden, so you can drop that idea, ...