silented1

It's impossible to really encompass everything (and everyone) that is a part of YWS in words. But I'll try my best to convey the right ideas. And honor each of ...

A Lion Without His Roar. Your soft voice is a mighty roar, Remember to rewrite this stanza to help fit the lack of those lines. Without it I'd be a ...

The Weeping Willow Alone I stand, On solid ground. Beneath my many branches, Lies a stagnant lake. This is out of place. It's seperated from what is below, you might ...

When I hear your soothing voice, I smile and feel rejoiced We don't know what rejoiced really feels like, it's a happy thing, I know, but it's an emotion, which ...

Well, I think your rhyme is forced. You should try rewriting this without the rhyme, see if that changes your ideas at all. You should also add some imagery, something ...

You have some redundency in the first stanza. Too many things happening to the heart to lead into what else happens with it. Keep one and the throwing and that ...

Lol. Welcome to YWS james. Glad to see that you (finally) joined.

Twelve year olds, Empty bottles, Cigarette butts. Facades, Pressures, Expectations So easy just to fake relations. You should try to show this, even saying it's to easy to hug someone, ...

If you can review my poem: Thanks.

Elegant curls spiral down her back like an extra garment enrobing her Well, it took me a minute to realise that this is her hair. Which seems out of place ...

Scarlet petals leaked from her skin, dancing between torn pores to the cruel world above, a rose perfume strong enough for the sharks to smell in the ocean that roared ...

Silent, your poem is done. I'll have to get to the others tomorrow since it's almost 1am. Sorry. Flower, your poem is done, and Perse, your poem is done as ...

You probably don’t remember me, but I remember you. So far, these lines seem to be unneeded. You may want to take them out. I was your best friend; This ...

Okay, three poems are in cue. I do not want to be overloaded, so until I've finished atleast 2 / 3, please do not ask for a review. Sorry.

I would only like reviews on the main / finished piece, please. And there's a total of 10 drafts, I just wanted to post the beginning bones of this. ___ ...