sargsauce

Pretty good. You've got a hold of your character and a logical progression of thought. Just a thought, though. A little nitpick for believability and consistency. I imagine he's supposed ...

This was well handled, with a confident hand. You have a firm picture of who Leonard is and you present his personality well enough. The film asides, though? I'll get ...

Very interesting take on the word "mortician." I dig it. The tone of the piece is noteworthy. Very world weary, ponderous, yet almost proud. I cannot be beautiful if no ...

This was indeed very good! It reads very much like a legend or a bedtime story, in the royal atmosphere, the quick cursory description of events (how quickly he grows, ...

Is this a story? It's missing important parts of a story such as plot and conflict. Rather, it's something like a poem written in paragraphs. I guess I shall review ...

What is it with the story generator and doctors (or some otherwise highfalutin technical occupation)? Anyway. Spectacular. First paragraph: beautiful. It sets the mood instantly. The tone is so forlor

Well then. That was fast paced and dizzy with blood. Let's get down to it. Thunder ruptured the eerie silences "the eerie silence" maybe? Pluralizing "silence" is a very weird ...

Overall, this was pretty good. Mature and dignified. So let's get into the nitty gritty. Get a better title. A title that resonates with what your piece is about. There's ...

Evi is braver than I am. Originally, I had tried to be the first or second comment on here and say one thing of substance (which has flown out of ...

I reread the first couple lines a few times, then I saw Krzyh's suggestion to switch them, and thought, "Genius!" It's just that 1) the first line is so specific ...

I'm glad someone took a different spin on the letter from the dead. Letter from the murdered to the killer. Cool. (Personally, I entertained aspirations in my head of letter ...

You have a decent opening with "I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt" (though some might say it's the kind of opening that's been used many times before). However! ...

Is it just the barren drought of excitement in the general fiction section for the past week or two? This work is exciting to me. She is very peaceful. The ...

Is it too late? Is it due by the end of today or the beginning? I don't even know what time it is in YWS time. We need a little ...

You've got a good voice, but it can sometimes get crowded pretty fast and it hurries along even faster before we can pick up the pieces. I'll go through step ...