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Re: I'll Come to Thee by Moonlight
Love the hidden humor in this! It's very creative and interesting, even for just an IM conversation. It definitely gives a fun twist to a classic story. I wouldn't edit ...
Jul 16, 2011 -
Re: The A Team
The emotion was conveyed perfectly, and I can't really find any nit picks that megsug hasn't already pointed out. Your word choice was impressive, and conveyed your message well. Its ...
Jul 13, 2011 -
Re: Tearin' Us Apart
I'm a little confused, but it's pretty well written. I would explain a little more about the past between your character and Wilma. Why was the character's drift away from ...
Jul 13, 2011 -
Re: On Memories and the Momentum of Moments
Several moments pass out my window and I forget to cry, Because I never thought I needed to try. My life passes me by so fast, And all I want ...
Jul 13, 2011 -
Re: tension
You need an 's' at the end of 'bore' (bores holes in my back) Set the word "awkwardness" apart from the rest. I have a thing for formatting works differently ...
Jul 13, 2011 -
Re: An Evening with a Vegan
It amazes me how many people overlook simple things such as food and what our bodies are to us. A round of applause to you for making the obvious beautiful.
Jul 13, 2011 -
Re: My Window
Thanks for the reassuring post! I worry about my formatting sometimes... it works in my own head, but I still can't get a good idea of how it works in ...
Jul 13, 2011 -
Re: Dragonmaster Prologue *REVISED*
Ok, some nit-pick stuff... annoying Karsh further by his formality... Further annoying Karsh with his formality. Try to make up a different word for "unicorn." Whenever I hear this I ...
Jul 13, 2011 -
Re: My Window
You don't get the full effect of the poem unless you see the formatting, so I will add an image of it instead....
Jul 13, 2011 -
Re: Individual Raindrop
Quote: Completely and totally true. Photo: Amazing clarity! Question: What kind of camera do you use?
Jul 11, 2011 -
Re: Hands
If I were you, I'd be yelling, "Blargh! Scanners Suck!" I can tell that details got washed out and it seems to happen with most scanners. Try messing with the ...
Jul 11, 2011 -
Re: Crossfire
It's a great piece and I love the descriptions, but I do believe you're in the wrong category. Try calling it a narrative instead. Poetry does not have to be ...
Jul 11, 2011
