rustystar

i've been asked to help someone write, and i came up with this. the idea is a twin's brother has just died on his way to state for Cross Country. ...

the chatroom idea is good, you should totally try it! i liked how you did the online thing in the first place. i think the beginning was my favorite part. ...

nice flip! i really liked the part about tasting like twizzlers. it seemed funny, a relief from the seriousness of the moment. i don't get the end, but then again ...

hmm.

Un My hand presses against the cool rock on the side of the cave. It’s a shallow cave, and there’s remains of a nest and red glass fragments which makes ...

i am so so so glad you revised it, it seems so less cluttered now. you're imagery is great, and over-all you did well in keeping it Christian-y, or whatever ...

poems like this are good. i think anything that's written has a purpose for some reason, same goes for this. it is a cute little piece. famous authors write stuff ...

The Ball The flutter of a skirt, Innocent rustle of a blouse. The snap and fold of sharp-looking suits. Creases, ruffles, lace, and cuffs- The revelry is about to begin. ...

ah! oh my goodness gracious! i LOVE this. fantastic! yes, i think he very much acts like it, though maybe you could add something about Rumpelstilskin's explanation for him living ...

i love remakes of classic fairy tales like this! im not much of a critiquer, but i noticed a few things. first, i've recently read and been told (after i ...

i only didnt understand this sentence: Ha, it seems to be saying. He’ll sit next to me, but he’ll never next to you. (im an idiot and dont know how ...

the way you describe the snowfall is wonderful- there's just no form to it. i dont mind no punctuation, but capital letters at the start of each new line would ...

like everyone else has said, you're first one is amazing! i love it! and yeah, lucky for being able to take a picture of the moon, thats awesome. and the ...

your descriptions are really well written, and since i don't mind free-verse i actually liked the way this flows without rhyming. i love reading poems with good imagery and diction, ...

ONE Such a heartbeat But you left me out on the street Baby, I still need you Maybe, I still love you My sixteen-year-old self rolled her eyes as the ...