ridersofdamar

Hey, so I'm just now coming back so I'm not sure if this is your first work or not but, wither way, hello! So, I liked the story, and it ...

Hey! This is a pretty good start, and I'm definitely interested. You did a good job creating a sense of mystery around the character and his organization. I'll go over ...

Hey! I'm with everyone else. I really liked it. The initiation is... cruel at best, but its creative. There is no input I can provide for this section specifically, but ...

The history of this world is not really making much sense to me. First the main ruler guy (who started it all) punished Bellerephon for making people be knights, and ...

Some of the same issues as before, but you answered my question about what the Black Night was doing there. Now my only suggestion for this chapter and the others, ...

Spell check doesn't catch grammar mistakes, you have to that on your own. My issues are those of all of the others. This is rushed. Everything is moving so fast ...

I however disagree with having Maria beat Geoffrey. It doesn't make sense, even for the 'chosen one'. Training in a weapon is a very long arduous process, and it is ...

Hmm... This is... interesting. I'm not really sure what to think. Seems almost Fight Clubesque, but in a very good way. Its too early to tell what the plot will ...

Hey! Just as good as the first one, and no grammar errors that I noticed on the first run through. I may have missed something and you might want to ...

Alright, I know your writing from storybooks, which aren't very thought out, but this is very clear, and it seems that you either thought about it long and hard, or ...

Prokaryote, that was completely uncalled for, and as your name suggests, it shows you really don't have a brain. The story, if you actually read it, actually touches on some ...

so the grammar issue first "ante room" not sure if you can say this. Ante is generally a prefix, so its odd to see it separated from the whole like ...

would you be talking about the storybook going on at this moment? or a real book? Because if so, then I am surprised you took time to read it all ...

Hey, as a forewarner, I didn't read the other reviews, which I probably should have, so I'm just going to go over everything I saw. The first part is grammar ...

yeah ive read one. CAnt remember though. It was the one with teh girl who was bitten by the count and he was supposed to protect here. Then these other ...