rickriley5390

this was a good excerpt. i would want to see more description about the characters and settings. the fight scene seem a little flat but i think you can add ...

This is an inventive piece. However, you should work on grammar, more description, punctuation and develop the charcters to make them more well rounded. Good job keep writing.

This was good. I enjoyed it a lot. I would love to see a second story like this. Also make sure your commas are in the right places. Beside that ...

The is a good story. I want to read more of it though. I would like to know the character motivation and the setting in more detail. I also would ...

This is a very rich idea but it can become a better story. Always proof read and check for spelling errors. Try to describe all characters in great detail so ...

I think this a good draft. You should proof read more and use more description to describe the characters and settings. Good job Keep writing

I think you are a good writer. My advice to to proof read about three times. Read it yourself, then hand it to some one else and then read it ...

i would love to read more

I thought this was an excellent story. I would have enjoyed more description of the characters and the setting but other than that good job. Also describe the phantom more. ...