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Re: Renegade Children-Cloud and Keke
Cloud took Keke’s hand, holding her close as if he could lose her at any moment. Their happiness depended on each other, Cloud would do anything for her, and vice ...
Jul 11, 2010 -
Re: The Key = chapter 1
Hey suchis, great job, can't wait to see where this is going. Are you going to continue this? Not much to say here, but try reading it out loud, this ...
May 12, 2010 -
Re: The S'earph Wars
Heya.This is really great, a really original and creative idea. You've got a great way of introducing your reader to the story, letting them know exactly what their situation is ...
May 3, 2010 -
Re: Casting the Crown, Ch. 1 (final revision for now)
This is good, but i think you should describe you characters a bit more, describe their situations, describe their feelings. Another thing is.. I was so confused when i was ...
May 3, 2010 -
Re: Truth of Lies Chapter 1
Okay colours, you need to bulk up your sentences a bit and fix your spelling, also, try to make your sentences flow a bit better because right now it's really ...
Apr 18, 2010 -
Re: Renegade children page 3
“If it was nothing, you wouldn’t be scared; you’re not scared of anything! You’re the bravest! This means we should all be scared…” He said in his adorable voice that ...
Apr 11, 2010 -
Re: Renegade children page 2
My ears began to twitch at a strange set of footsteps, ones I thought I’d never hear again, “Everyone down!” I hissed. “Ali-!” Sam started before I clamped his mouth ...
Apr 6, 2010 -
Re: Renegade Children page one
“Here! Jared!” I called as we ran across the roof, laughing, being the way kid’s should, having fun, free of fear, free of adults, and free from our old lives. ...
Apr 2, 2010 -
Re: WD's Reviews
Hey WD, can you review this for me? I just fixed it up and hope it's a bit better. thx WD
Mar 31, 2010 -
Re: Renegade Children
Preface This was our sanctuary, an abandoned centre, the only place we could hide from those who sought us out, and who hunted us… We spent most of the Summer ...
Mar 28, 2010
