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queenofportalverse

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: The Chosen: Ch. 1.1

    “The care-worn face Adashi knew so well was thoughtful.” I feel like this quote could have a better flow. Instead of telling the readers that Adashi knows his face well, ...

    Sun Oct 18, 2020 6:19 pm
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Fantasy Re: Chapter 1: Sebastian

    The relationship established between Dominic and Sebastian in this chapter is a great way to start out. It creates an immediate attachment between the readers and the characters with their ...

    Sun Oct 18, 2020 5:36 pm


i understand why roosters scream in the morning
— SpunkyMonkey