plainfinmidshipman

Wow!! I just saw your addition to the story. (Sorry i didn't see it sooner. I was too preoccupied by my inverted syntax post) It is beautiful!!! And you have ...

Ok I will do my best to explain inverted syntax. If anyone can do better, please feel free to correct me (and i am sure somebody can!)! Inverted syntax is ...

I'm sorry I didn't mean that you should remove the superfluous words but instead i meant that you should rewrite the portions containing the superfluous words so that they were ...

I borrow lines frequently from other poets. My teachers say it is allusion. I always put the lines in italic.

i actually really like the last line of the poem. it is my favorite part. I think maybe if you put more plant imagry in it could definately work.