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Re: The girl
felt like an earthquake : ”In the end we all must go” Felt like an earthquake to whom? You might want to just make it so that the words were ...
Apr 5, 2009 -
Re: Life is a Cardboard Box:A Short Story of Thoughts and Dreams
Hiya! I really like this piece, it's nice and circular and brings you back to the beginning. I like your short syntax, but sometimes this makes you grammatically incorrect. For ...
Apr 5, 2009 -
Re: Deleted
Wow, I love this. You've got nice little segways into the flashbacks. Just a couple things, though: Music, if there was one thing I couldn't live without, it would be ...
Apr 5, 2009 -
Re: Ban The User Above You! [3]
Banned for posting on an even numbered time with an odd number of prime factors, that add up to 14, which, when multiplied by 10 equals the time.
Apr 5, 2009 -
Re: Speedwrite the word above you!
Love
Apr 4, 2009 -
Re: What's that book called?
Yeah, either The Time Machine, or the Atherton series.
Apr 4, 2009 -
Re: Ban The User Above You! [3]
Banned for having such an awesome signature
Apr 4, 2009 -
Re: Love, Death, and War
. I leaned over her face and kissed her cold lips. Such a peaceful look in her eyes. I laid my fingers over her eyelids and drew them tight so ...
Apr 3, 2009 -
Re: Did I format this right?
Yeah, it's fine. You might want to put your descriptions in caps or something so you can differentiate it from other things. Like Smuar said, you can use Celtx, or ...
Apr 2, 2009 -
Re: Mirror of Memories
The bed shook vigorously as I collapsed onto it, then gradually stopped. I dunno about this line. The first impression you get is of a bed shaking vigorously. This is ...
Mar 31, 2009 -
Re: Play-Pretend
Let’s play pretend, darling. Just like we used to, remember? I suppose not. It was back then, remember? Back when you could still look me in the eye and tell ...
Mar 31, 2009 -
Re: with the sweat of your brow (1/2)
Wow, that was brilliant. A few nit-picky things: This may just because I go to an inner-city school, where a lot of people smoke marijuana, but saying "....and smoke marijauna ...
Mar 28, 2009 -
Re: Great American Novels
Definitely To Kill a Mockingbird, The Sound and the Fury, The Colour Purple (Alice Walker), O Pioneers (Willa Cather), anything by Sherwood Andershon.
Mar 28, 2009 -
Re: what do you mean?
Just a few semantics things: and that they should loose weight? Should be: and that they should lose weight? that your not exactly perfect Should be: that you're not exactly ...
Mar 28, 2009 -
Re: When I'm All Grown Up
I want to be an astronomer and go see the stars. I'll fly off to Jupiter with a stopoff on Mars. I want to be a doctor and make people ...
Mar 28, 2009