phoenixwriter

Nice beginning. I like the background of the main character's job. The characterization is also done nicely and it is obvious this man likes money very much. Maybe a little ...

This is a very good beginning to a story. I like how you made the main character very considerate and almost motherly, yet innocent and young. I enjoyed the dialogue ...

I really love the descriptions. Very nice, dark, and gives an overall impression of a different world. I liked it, except I am a little bit of a G-rated person ...