patience_isnt

Okay, so I just found a few grammar mistakes. A few, so don't worry. (It helps if you type it on a Word document with the spell check on. That ...

I cried. I actually cried. I am so sorry that this had to happen to you. But I understand what you're feeling too. (And no, I'm not just saying that.) ...

I couldn't find anything wrong with it, but then again, I was really pulled into it. I was so pulled into it, I didn't realize that it was ended. xD ...

Wow, that really takes the reader in. What a great piece! I was surprised that you could write so well in second person. Most people try to write in second ...

Really good start. The only thing I want you to change a bit are the paragraphs where the characters are talking. Those get quite confusing. If you break them up ...

That was... An odd short story. The beginning wasn't realistic enough. I would recommend changing the cursing and fighting scene a bit. Maybe try remember having a fight with someone. ...

...Wow. Angry short story. The way you wrote it sounds so real. I'm glad you didn't write like a 12-year-old girl and say, "Oh, it was terrible. I won't tell ...

...Wow... At first, I wasn't so sure I would enjoy this story. It seemed too "lovey dovey" and happy for me. But boy, was I wrong. I cried at the ...

Wow... I think that was really good. Like, amazingly good. I only had one or two problems with it, but other than that, it was amazing for a rough draft. ...

Alright, here comes some critique-ing, so don't be offended by anything I say. It sounds like you're still working on it, so all this junk that I'm telling you to ...