parmarskates

Hey, Thanks for such a great reply. You may be correct in implying I need to revise the concepts of the book. Also the second chapter began in the middle ...

I really like the ending (two) lines and the overall meaning/message, however the rhyming scheme sounds a bit odd to me. Maybe it's off syllabically I'm not sure - poetry ...

Keep a consistent voice or feel to the narration is something I've been having troubles with. It's a problem I need to work on, and I will do so once ...

All very valid comments. Thank you for the review, and I'll definitely look into fixing those problems as soon as I finish Part One. (Then I'll upload Pre Text the ...

Note this is only the beginning portion! I just wanted some reviews on it to ensure I'm going in the right direction.

I really like this!