paintedcookie

I really enjoyed this as well. This has been one of the few stories I've read lately that has made me want to read every single word and to keep ...

Very interesting beginning of a FF here. Although, I think you need to run it through spellcheck because there are a lot of spelling mistakes in it. "S...." Shouted Ron. ...

There are a few gramatical errors, such as, mixing up your use of commas, semi-colons, and full stops. There are also just small words that are missing to complete sentences ...