pacu

Hey, great story! Really interesting, reminded me a little of Doris Lessing's sci fi. I really like the start, I like how throughout the story there is this weird "fireworks" ...

I think joshuapaul and lorrilakeet have some good points: To make this story better you should make the narrator less interesting (a narrator ALWAYS has to be likeable) take out ...

I sort of liked the lack of emotion, it made the character unique. He is this strange little mutant living next to a radioactive lake, I think it's fine if ...

My memories consumed me. I could remember everything; from the moment that I was born to the moment I died. I could feel everything as well, my emotions unbearably vivid ...

Little more action packed than my other stories, 1,700 words. He saw them waiting for him as he walked up the stairs to his flat. He thought about running, down ...

This has a few interesting parts, but I agree with quite a few of the previous reviewers points. I think you need to work a little on the main character's ...

I gave no consideration on my health deprived by the coming winds and rain I think this needs some commas or to be revised, it's unclear what you mean. I ...

thanks for all the reviews guys, was nice to read. On the whole use of the words "prick" and "fuck," boxers actually do talk like that in Australia. I can't ...

I don't really appreciate you telling the writer what she should especially ignore out of my review. She can do what she pleases with a story, and I can tell ...

lso the thing about researching witchcraft and my opinion, you don't need to. I know the whole "nothing is right or wrong, you can say what you want" thing is ...

It was a lonely day of ninety-two degrees. The kind of day where sadness slid down your backside; melancholy formed droplets at the top of your brow. Children cried, adults ...

Any comments appreciated, 1,500 words. Once again this is a whole story not a beginning. The guy was big, bigger than he’d thought, bigger than he’d been told. As he ...

I liked the start, was a good way of getting to know the characters before everything got hardcore. No cheating!” I order. He smiles and nods. “It’s the last day ...

Hey, was an ok story though probably too short. You need to work on character development a little before you start exorcising demons, I didn't really get a sense of ...

Thanks, was nice to get your opinion. I think I get your point about needing to suggest that Luke has changed somehow, I sort of hint at it but its ...