onceuponatim3xo

actually, i did mention it. Oh. :lol: You should probably just say something like "The squire, Thai, (did this and that)" for people like me who don't think all of ...

Thank you so much for critting :D I'm probably going to make a new way for him to escape (any suggestions?? :D ) But, I can't really think of anything ...

Thanks, I'll probably tweak it a little more, but for now will this do? He turned to the dogs who were coming closer and closer. They bounded toward him with ...

okay, so I edited the whole coin thing, hopefully this works out better. :D

This EXTREMELY long! If you separated it into two parts, I can guarantee you that you'll get more crits. I read a little bit of it and it and I ...

I'm thinking about changing my story to third person instead of from Holly's point of view. Should I or would it not make it any easier/better and I'd be doing ...

Thanks for the crit, I actually wanted Hayes to be immature, I'm going to explain that more later on. Also, I have edited chapter one to be better, I'll have ...

You can't be serious. LOTF was terrible, it was extremely disturbing and just creeped me out!

EW EW EW EW EW!!!! I hate that part! Roger sharpened a stick at both ends You know how the pigs head was on a stick sharpened at bothe ends ...

What are the books of the lioness series called? I borrowed Tricksters Choice from the library, but I realized that it seemed to be like a sequel, what's the VERY ...

Thanks :D In chapter one ( ) I started to explain that it was an Empire and so there are a few differences - but not many, because I'm not ...

Just a few things: "I know, just a sweet tea then, please." This needs to match up with the following sentence that you have later on in the story; Chase ...

omg, they're so different from what I pictured :(

they're doing a movie???? How did you see the cast?????

Yeah, I barely put anything symbolic in my writing - so if I publish something, people will say "oh the main character picked up the cup of pudding because she ...