okkervilpuddle

oh. haha, thanks. yeah i was def afraid of that in this piece. but i'd like to thank you A LOT for being honest, because i feel like i sometimes ...

This story (or whatever you want to call it) is kind of cool, and its relative pointlessness is forgiven since its tone sounds very "fun!" and, idk, i enjoyed it. ...

The day I realized I was weird I set up camp in my dully lit bedroom and seeped every single drop of liquid in my body out through my stinging ...

I like what seems to be the intention of the narrator's voice, but right now I think it comes off as a little awkwardly written. If you polished it up ...

This isn't a story. You wrote a few sentences, seemingly as they occurred to you, and they have no effect. If you want, you can explore these particular thoughts and ...

I liked this a lot. To me it comes off as a sort of social commentary and I think it's very well done. My only issue with the content is ...

this is unrealistic. no one likes their first cigarette. no one is hooked on their first cigarette. the most likely sensation associated with your first cigarette would be nausea, not ...

personally, i think the first part was much better. this one seems like you didn't spend very much time on it. there isn't any real detail, just explanation. and it ...

you set the scene really well. i mean i could really feel this western heat. it's great. i am surprised no one has said anything about this yet. i'm not ...

this was a cool idea. at the very beginning i thought i wouldn't like it because i was pretty sure it was going to be one of those big, confused, ...

This was pretty cool. i like the ambiguity at the end. however, i think this would be a much better piece if the writing seemed a little less cliche. i ...

I am peeping through the paper blinds to see if the day is still light. The darkness is trickling to the ground but it’s not there yet and the big, ...

How can I smooth it out with the people at school? All they witness is me coming in and running around the place smiling and smiling with my bangs hanging ...

i'm kind of torn on this piece because it combines a kind of brilliant and imaginative plot device with rushed, mediocre writing. i wish you'd spend more time tweaking your ...

i found this story interesting because in general i agree with you. (i suppose, since this is technically "other fiction" that i agree with the narrator, but i am guessing ...