okkervilpuddle

Hello! I want to talk about the last paragraph because it was my favorite: No; I didn’t believe in those things. So what do I believe in? What is my ...

Hey, thanks! Your review was actually really helpful. I took a couple of your suggestions in regards to the repetition. Never even considered the plot very much, I guess I ...

My prompt: Your story is about a nurse in Chicago folding clothes. Please, any comments will be helpful! "Snowflakes" This city is the Windy City and I will never get ...

1.) The Alchemist by Paul Coelho. A self-help book designed very, very thinly as fiction. It's preachy and badly written. 2.) The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. It's amazing how ...

I like the poetic writing style too, and agree with Megan about the other things. I just want to put in my two cents about the word "anyways". I guess ...

Hi, I like the ending a lot. I wasn't expecting it and I thought it clever. And I think the idea could be pretty good. My only problem is that ...

You're obviously a good writer, but I think this is too wordy. You could get the same message across but with half the clutter. It's just distracting, and maybe lends ...

Wow. This is mad scary. That is, the first part is. I wasn't such a fan of the second part. Even though you didn't really give much away, I still ...

My car. Beat the shit out of her car. It went ba-bam! Or, no-- Pop! Clang! And the sprinkle of tin on concrete, an object propelled past my passenger window. ...

I liked this a lot. The last line was very good. I don't have anything else to say but I think you deserve to know that I thought this was ...

This was a cute piece, but to make it better I think you should put more detail into it (you can still keep the style you've chosen). As you have ...

This was kind of like you wrote this in two minutes. There's no style here, just a bunch of words thrown up onto the screen. It's a dream and so ...

I liked how this was written, you definitely have a distinct voice, that of the scientific minded and cold blooded assassin. In response to Loveless above me, I think that ...

Ok, I don't think it was written for a 6 or 7 year old. And your profile says your 18, so you're clearly old enough to be able to write ...

This is interesting. I don't have much to say since you didn't post very much and stylistically there wasn't much of a voice, but I honestly think it looks promising. ...