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Looks like I'm here first :). Welcome fellow writer to YWS hope your getting along alright. Now on to the story, it was very interesting and sort of a cliche ...

Alright, her morning routine seemed a little boring. It helped me get a better idea of what Carissa looked like, but there was a lot of "I did this and ...

Your characters need help. Some would say you're descriptive--I say it's info-dumping. I don't care if you're iPod Nano is lime green, or what your shirt says, or what sort ...