ofir

A very original idea! The writing style is very severe, and actually gave me goosebumps! I believe you could turn this into a whole novel if you wanted to, actually. ...

I'm on the verge of tears, because this was so touching. I love the character's voice. I love how real you made it feel. You wrote it in a slightly ...

This is an old story that I wrote. I've posted this before on short stories, but I re-read it and decided to make something of it! :D I appreciate all ...

Well, this was a fun read! :) You defined your character very well. The repeated, 'ya know' was a nice touch. I really enjoyed reading this! I can't really give ...

I once met a magician who wore a great big hat Out of it, though, he could only pull a cat Quite miserable he was, thanks to this turn of ...

Wow... That was very touching. I liked the character's voice, how she explained the situation in a soothing manner. She was very round and real. I thought you may have ...

This was wonderful! The characters were very deep, don't you fret. I loved this. The images you used were amazing and had a very strong impact. Your choice of words, ...

Hello! I love the idea - very original, and very well written. You repeated a lot of things in this piece, some worked and others less: The repetition of the ...

I don't even have anything to critique! You did very, very well. The emotions were clear, the paragraphs were split perfectly, and I have to tell you, you just did ...

As usual, you're excellent. I think Olivia's first reaction was terrific. I did not, however, like the way Luke responded. He "killed" [he considers himelf guilty, though it's not his ...

Let's say there's a girl. You know what I'm talking about: bright eyes, soft lips, the works - don't deny it. Everyone has that girl, the one that makes their ...

I have absolutely no idea how to respond. I never expected it to be so real.... Luke really grew up, he really has different friends. It's a shock... I'm not ...

This is harder than it seems! Okay: The sign read, 'Beware': I laughed.

That was very charged with emotions. Looking at only the literary aspect, you captured your emotions very well - your words sounded very true, and actually touched me. The part ...

At first, the name didn't make sense at all. But I decided to go for it anyways. I'm very glad I did. Keep the name - it has such an ...