ofir

Hey! I really liked the story, it was funny and interesting. You did a great job on it! Now, here are some ways I think could make better! You should ...

chapter 2 I ducked as soon as I heard the crash. I squinted, listening carefully to the explosion, trying to tell where it came from. The floor shook under my ...

Hey! You had a few spelling mistakes, which I am sure everyone already noted. I love it! Nice!! Very interesting and well written!! Well done!!! Now, to business. Is she ...

you have some dots that could be turned into commas, but that's pretty much it! It's adorable! I didn't see the prologue, so I don't know what everyone are talking ...

I never really understood how I had gotten myself into this situation. As I looked up at the merciless eyes of the man who intended to kill me, pitch black, ...

Okay,lots of work on this one! I would consider changing it entirely. The whole subject the second chapter revolves around is sort of very shallow. The guy is going to ...

chapter 1 I hated waking up. It was the worse part of the day. My clock buzzed another demanding shrill chime. I opened my eyes unwillingly, staring at the boy ...

Leaving a place you liked was never easy. I looked around the tiny apartment that had been my home for so long. The brown marble floor looked clean enough, the ...

I love it! This is awesome! I didn't really know other people knew them, did they make it to the big time? I really need to catch up to date. ...

I love it!! You got such a good story on your hands here! Add her age, though, I think it's important since she's leading a fight and being heir to ...

Nice story! Umm, the begining could use a little work, and the end too. Maybe you should go on a little more about those stories, because you might just meet ...

Nice! I really did like this! Way to go with the idea, not much think of such things! You wrote plenty of descriptions, *hugging you in a bone crushing hug* ...

O-kay.... That was slightly disturbing, well written though. By the way, the killing herself thing seemed too sudden, it shouldn't be a one minute desicion. Other than that, nice horror ...

Nice!! As before, descriptions descriptions descriptions , I still liked it a lot!! Awesome story, but aren't you repeating this way too much? I mean, another Foaly, another Mulch another ...

hey! Nice story, really like it! And now... Ta da! Reviews: she was thinking 'home is falling apart' maybe you could explain the reason of her thinking so. Why would ...