ofir

Hello! Please comment, I'll appreciate it a lot. It needs all the help it can get at this point :oops: Thanks. The novel chapter 1- Bad luck No. This couldn't ...

Have a good vacation!! Now, I still love the whole general idea of the story, but I liked this chapter a little less. I'd appreciate a little descriptions on everything, ...

Yet again, I love this!! Let that be known first before I give a few criticisms. Okay, so, You had a few minor spelling mistakes as in, you forgot to ...

Hello, well, I'd firstly like to point out that you missed a lot of things like putting periods instead of commas and all of that nonesense. Work on that. Okay, ...

Hello there! I am here to review your piece, shall we? Okay, so the introduction was rather telly, like a children story 'once upon a time...' I didn't even realise ...

Thank you for the latest comments- I don't feel that confident about this chapter, and it's still the first draft, so please please please, help me out! Thanks. chapter three ...

I wanted to thank everybody who commented- it means a lot to me. Everything about this story is first draft, not thoroughly edited, and so any comment and critique whatsoever ...

Hey, so I'm hopping to get at least two comments, unlike last time when I just got pushed out of the page, so please, make my day. I just came ...

Oh. So he kills the one person that's nice to him? Kinda makes you want to stop helping people... Anyways, I found it sort of disturbing, but otherwise nice. It ...

I like the fact that you tell so much in the prologue, it gives you a safe feeling as you enter the story. Other than that, it was pretty nice. ...

Never ever stop posting this! In simpler words, I completely adore it; I love it! You had a few minor grammar mistakes, you put a dot and didn't capitelize but ...

this is my brother's work, he's publishing it through my account. It means a lot to him, so reviews and critiques are welcome! Twilight The Twilight Comes Now The Sun ...

The call- Regina spektor "Seriously, Angela, you can let go now." He seemed almost joking, his almond shaped eyes, the color of the sky during a storm, streaks of a ...

Hey there. Just a few things that bothered me- the emotions were too powerfull. Either she's a drama quine [I don't really know how to spell that] or you want ...

Hitler? Wow, heavy subject. You sure you're ready to take that on? The horrors that happened there are far more horrifying than you could imagine. I don't think you want ...