nutmegan595

Charlotte: Ohmygod!!!!! This is so cool! (My characters rarely can watch TV) Anna: これはとても非現実的です。 Charlotte: Who cares Anna?! (Ten minutes later) Okay, I'm bored, let's go jum

So I have a fictional blog that is like a story, but the readers participate too by acting like it is real. Come check it outif you want something to ...

~TAKEN~

Chapter Four: In order to live forever, first you have to die. “So what was it like, Charlotte?” Hayden asked at breakfast. Rachel stopped, her fork hovering a few inches ...

I like this chapter, but you aren't giving much develop of the characters except in relation to each other. Daniel has a moment where we see a bit of what ...

Really good imagry. I can see the autumn similes and feel the heart-wrenching. I think you need a little more rhythm, however, to really make it poetry. Simply making it ...

I could stay and be who you want me to be. But why can’t I just try to be me? I’m gonna go out and figure out who I am. ...

I like the story so far. I think you need to take a bit more time developing and describing. You have created an entire fantasy world, so it's a bit ...

I thought the overall poem was really good and is very thought-provoking. I could tell from the first verse that she was talking to God, but the second and third ...

I like the idea and some of it is really good. I think you have a lot of unnecessary swearing. I know a lot of songs nowadays do, but you ...

Thank you. I usually go with the short and sweet chapter names in my stories, but I thought with this one I would show more of Anna in the chapter ...

Chapter Three: I should probably learn some self-control before I attack someone who can’t heal. Two days before my birthday, Hayden arrived. He walked into the hacienda and smiled like ...

I like it and think it is very lyrical--I mean this that the words flow nicely. I'm not quite sure about the structure of the song. By saying (To start) ...

I like your story idea and the changing points of view, but I suggest using first person for all of it or third person for all of it. It isn't ...

I think you should submit these all separately or at least use something to separate them better. You have great ideas for your poems and can write some good lyrics, ...