nutmegan595

Anna: I don't particularly want to kill anyone. I get all the blood I need from a blood bank, and there are too few vampires to kill anyone for selfish ...

Celestial Level Kara Madsen entered the ballroom through a cloud of smoke and instantly her mood was lifted. Someone handed her a glass of champagne, but Kara did not even ...

I think the idea is good and some of your writing is really nice. I love how detailed you are in certain parts like about the teacher, the boy, and ...

It's not in order though. It fits in intermittenly throughout the story because it's in flashbacks. I'll try to write more of the current timeline until Gabbie meets Nathan again. ...

The two go together. In this family stealing ability is like good grades or doing your chores. So they compete to steal the best and hardest things and thus get ...

Celestial Level Kara Madsen entered the ballroom through a cloud of smoke and instantly her mood was lifted. Someone handed her a glass of champagne, but she had no inclination ...

"Can we kill him?" Gabbie asked her dad as they watched the boy in Central Park. Nathan had come back to pickpocket businessmen again. "We can rent a boat and ...

I don't think so. Gabbie isn't abrupt--usually--though if you want you could have them like run into each other. Nathan might not recognize her at first because she does have ...

Anna: That's be pretty awkward. But in the general scheme of things I don't think it'd make much difference. What would you do if you were told your parents aren't ...

I do a pretty similar thing but keep it all in my head. I can't draw to save my life, so instead I watch a scene I'm stuck on like ...

Chapter Five: Just another everyday vampire party. My birthday party was nearly identical to Charlotte’s. We came downstairs at sunset and most of the estate was already full of vampires. ...

I think this was a good plot but you need to work on being more descriptive in a different way. Your narration is very choppy and action related. Then when ...

Hmmm...Let's try it! A way we could introduce it is once Gabbie sees Nathan again, we can flip to Nathan's POV and develop that. Here's what I have as an ...

Anna: My name is Anna and I'm a vampire. Charlotte: That was pathetic, Anna. I'm Charlotte and want to jump off a cliff. Fletcher: Very original. I'm Fletcher and don't ...

Not yet. It's only a flashback so it needs to fit in later. I have all these ideas for flashbacks but none for the actual story! And the backstory isn't ...