niccy_v

I'm 75,000 I'm aiming about 90,000 Kind of.

You should contact a mod and put it in storybooks. It doesn't really belong in this particular forum, i dont think. but it has a great idea behind it.

wow thanks guys! i finally got through ALL the versions. You guys rock :) And yeah Bryn was cliche, my bad! I had to have a hot blonde guy in ...

This is incredibly rushed. Two weeks later, we were up for a match with Glendale High School What happens until then? Not good. We won!!!! Oh and the 'we won ...

Hmm much better But... she's awful! Her sterotypes are cruel and undeserved. The cheerleaders have done nothing to her, neither have the jocks actually (back to first chapter) and so ...

Nice job, but you should do some horse research. maybe it's me, being me, a huge fanatic of the creatures and my OCD on them. The sound of horse hooves ...

It begins with a flashback, in HER POV and then chops back to present day. I have to fix that later

JFW1415 - I have PM you about your review. I am Australian so Z has no meaning in realize and specialize Also, it's Drew not Dave :) Everything you fixed ...

Ooh Horses are brilliant. At the moment i'm doing another one i semi began for Nano when my original NanoWriMo ended too abruptly for me :| Horses are so interesting ...

Oh and i really want to know what happens! Does Natasha follow through? Does she turn up the same? Does Suzan talk to owen? What happens between them? I really ...

Again, i think you may have dropped it But still i shall edit it. I saw nothing majorly wrong, but i do think you need to spruce your dialogue up. ...

OKay so you've probably shelved this for bigger and better but i liked it, and the title was too enticing to turn away :roll: First issue: Too much showing. You're ...

I thought you said you'd binned this?? I was going to crit it all but then you said you'd ditched it. Have you started with it? Because if you have ...

Your main issue here is distinguishing her inner thoughts and just the things for the story. Like her seeing things and the happenings, then there's her thoughts. All so confusing! ...

I agree with KJ, who's said a lot of what i wanted to. There is no reason for the argument, you have not based much of a reason any way. ...