niccy_v

[Rated just to be safe.] Edit: Before reading: - I've kind of re-done Jonah to have a horrific skin disease as the result of the vampire change... I sort of ...

In progress!

Good effort, but since when does Jacob go to clubs? Heh heh. Anyway it is bent not bended. All of a sudden, she backed away, with a smile on her ...

My aim is to have 150 critiques before New Years. So, until New Years, I am doing everything. I'm good at any of the Fictions like Romance, Fantasy, Action etc. ...

WOW that is long. Um... how about i do half now and half later? Oh my haha. I'll do it though, i love fantasy.

8/10 because it's cute!

I know this was in july but ... well this didn't get that many reviews so... i'll give you what i have Thoughts The use of capitals is interesting choice! ...

You did mine, so i will do yours! Overall thoughts on the story You develop this powerful mother-daughter relationship. It's clearly edited (thank god!) and so there was little grammar/spelling ...

First off: this story has a lot of telling - i cannot imagine much because you tell me everything, so you need to use dialogue to 'show' and do less ...

Language: WOW. I mean, seriously, you have such a way with words, it paints the pictures vividly and you use the least boring words. But I have a slight issue ...

Overall, not much to really go on, since it's so short. But i like the powerful imagery... Eyes flicking around in annoyance, my eyes came to rest on a little ...

Stepping into static - chapter 1 romance. includes vampires. thankyou

I have not yet embarked on much more than a couple of sentences beyond this so no 'chapter 1' etc coming along in the future i do not think. Please, ...

Oh my Clo THANKYOU! That was great! Oh and thanks too Macs! Yess i do like that sentence too... and i will definitely fix up the things you all picked ...

Use of 'that' It is just me but i have a severe hatred for the word that. It disrupts flow more than helps the story, and more often than not ...