mikedb1492
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First off, I'd like to say I enjoyed this. Very interesting piece. All I really have to critique are a couple nitpicks about diction (word choice). And although I'll only ...
Nov 19, 2010
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I can remember the crash. I remember two screams (mine? Or maybe two of the passengers?) and someone shouting, “Oh my God!” (was that me?) I remember the way I ...
Sep 4, 2010
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I didn't read the other review, so pardon any repeating on my part. Although shadows seemed to leap out at her and tall shabby buildings loomed overhead on either side, ...
Jul 1, 2010
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It was all he was able to do, because I’d gone around his head with the tape a few times for good measure. According to my English teacher, the newest ...
Jun 23, 2010
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Odd how a tag like (Warning: Graphic Imagery) got my attention... Ah well. I didn't read the other reviews, so pardon repetition on my part. The taste of blood in ...
Jun 21, 2010
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Oh Kanen Renoir, you had me at "steampunk story". Intriguing beginning, by the way. But that too is slipping away. But none of that matters. What do are the events ...
Jun 21, 2010
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Hey M, I didn't read the other review so pardon any repeating on my part. The first day of classes always sucked. Say 'class' instead of 'classes'. Make it singular. ...
Jun 21, 2010
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Terik wandered through the streets of Seljik; hands in his pockets, jacket collar turned up against the frigid wind that blew up from the dirty sewer: he was the very ...
Nov 8, 2009
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I sat up, and the red linen sheets that surrounded me fell to my waist. It's probably just the nit pick in me speaking, but this sentence bothered me a ...
Jul 9, 2009
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Something exploded from the trees with a loud noise. I think "Something exploded from the trees" is sufficient enough. The rest is kind of pointless since explosions tend to be ...
Jun 29, 2009
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longing around while I pressed my nose against the glass of their exhibit. I think you mean "lounging" not "longing". I knocked, despite that Mom scolded me, This was just ...
Jun 28, 2009
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Sure enough, it was there, right between a two day old Whopper and wilted Wendy’s salad. I put it in the microwave and punched in some time. What is "it". ...
Jun 27, 2009
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Hello Conrad. Just so you know, I didn't read the other reviews, so pardon any repetition. But then again, if there's repetition then you know for sure it should be ...
Jun 19, 2009
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Hey Mesme, how's it going? I didn't read the other reviews so pardon any repeating on my part. The summons from the Kalagat came in the middle of the morning, ...
Jun 12, 2009
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Brendan was curled up in his black bean-bag chair in the opposite corner, surrounded by magazine clippings of random things. "Random things" just doesn't seem descriptive enough for me. At ...
Jun 8, 2009