melanie21

I attached the comments I had. The story was really enjoyable and this part cleared up quite a bit of the first chapter. All of my comments are just suggestions ...

That was really good. The charachters were interesting. I don't quite understand the main charachters feelings about george. When you mention the chandeliar shaking due to the noise the made ...

I'm a big believer in few exceptions to grammar breakage. Mainly when the audience is believed to be well educated in grammar a pre-planned screw up really makes something stand ...

I really enjoyed this piece, enough in fact that I forgot I was trying to critique it. The charachters have existed before but with enough variations it's still different enough. ...

I was amused, not sure what people didn't understand. A lot of dialogue can be confusing but this piece did a decent job of keeping the flow going. I laughed ...

First off I have to admit I haven't read the whole chapter yet but I wanted to say a few tidbits before I log off (promise I'll be back and ...

wow, massive replies! Well a few people asked for some more details about me so here's a quick summary of me-ness. I love to read quite as few different kinds ...

Hey everyone! I'm new to YWS and just checked out a few stories. There's some really great stuff on here and I'm excited to have joined (though semi afraid I'll ...

Using "songfic" was a great idea for this piece. I agree with what someone commented earlier about possibly too much background but overall it was incredibly enjoyable. You converted me ...

The letters back home did a nice job of keeping me interested in the story. Grammar mistakes were distracting but looked easily fixable. Quite a few verbs were in conflicting ...