mandy92

Thanks everyone for the advice. I'll try to work on it some more, but it'll be a while before I can actually post anything more. I'm buisy with school and ...

Okay people, I really need some help here. :D I have no idea what to name the characters. So I would love to know what you would name them, please!! ...

GoOsE BuMpS AGAIN!! :D :D :D Does the guy ever wake up? I mean is he dreaming throughout the entire story? Don't get me wrong, I love the way you're ...

A little plump, but not to fat. Right here when you say "but not to fat" "to" should be "too" And spend all day in my pyjamas. Pyjamas should be ...

Without pausing the breathe, Change "the breathe" to "to breathe" Other than that, I couldn't find anymore mistakes. :wink: Anyway, I thought this story was pure awesomness!! :twisted: You so ...

Man this piece actually gave me goose bumps. Beyond all of the mistakes that Azila has pointed out, it was good. You just need to touch it up a bit ...

Yeah I agree with OrangeNailPolish also. And I think the story was good, though it would be better if there was more description in it. Well keep it up!! ~Mandy~

Looking out of the shattered department store window, he lit a third match and – his hands trembling violently – and touched the nodding flame to the tip of his ...

sit and stare out to space, I'm not very good with poetry, but shouldn't this be: "sit and stare out into space," Or maybe: "sit and stare into space," I ...

Thanks for all the advice you guys, I'll try my best. I'm working on this story. I dropped it when I was about eleven or twelve, but you guys have ...

Beautiful!!

Wow!! This was great! I loved it and I so wanna read more. I hope you do good on finals. And please, please keep on with this story!! You have ...

I like this story, but like the others, i agree that it needs some rearranging. Great story!! Keep it up.

this is something that most of you guys will probably find really dumb. i just wrote this a long time ago when i was like eleven. xp Part one of ...

:oops: Part one of Chapter 1 :oops: I watched through half-opened eyes as the last rays of sunlight gradually faded from the empty sky. I balled my hands up into ...