mandax

The body still lay on the sofa in the other room: raped, cut up, and killed. Hm, I was thinking that maybe "cut up" isn't the best term to use. ...

Aw, would more people please comment this one? I have a feeling it's a little too corny ... I need help.

Woah, I've never read anything like that before. Very good use of imagery! I did think that "I begin to taste your mean in my blood" didn't make much sense, ...

When I read this, I couldn't help bu think of the Destiny's Child song, "Survivor". Using that phrase, "I'm a survivor" is a bad idea since it is overused so ...

My fingers flutter. The keys glisten with the color of age – Yellow. Yellow like the sun, That casts light on the music. Each note is lovely and perfect in ...

I see hot air balloons, Being popped by sky needles. Little kid cartoons, Singing songs by the Beatles. Maybe it's morphine, Or maybe you make me spiral down. Parades are ...

Thanks for the warm welcomes, everyone. I really appreciate it. =]

I like how you use an ocean in this, and while the ripple is very fitting ... it's kind of cliche. I also don't quite understand how the sunset makes ...

I have to agree with piepiemann22 that there ARE a lot of poems like this ... even though it's a pretty good poem. Thing is, in order to pull of ...

First of, shouldn't this be in the lyrics section? But anyway, it's a good song. The theme is kind of cliche, so I would suggest bringing a fresh new approach ...

Ah, thank you! And yes, I completely agree. I'll make that correction. =]

Each time I thought, "I love you," A star joined the night sky. So gaze above and think about your affection's alibi. Each time I craved to hold you, I ...

They told me I was beautiful. But the mirror revealed lies. They told me I was talented. The mirror said otherwise. So I wrapped a string of pearls, ‘round my ...

I think you are too blunt with the theme. Some of the points you make are pretty obvious. Try coming up with a certain situation to stick with, maybe? It ...

I'm new to this board, and I'm not an expert on poetry, but I thought I'd give critiquing a try. I liked the third stanza the best, and I think ...