lulu_lizzrd

it pretty good and i like the description, but a few of your sentences sound kind of strange to say like in this sentance it sounds like you should say ...

it pretty good, but when you say :arrow: "Yes, he was a member of the Elemental as well as Phil and I." it sounds a little wierd to say you ...

it was really good u have amazing description and i like how you show emotion and how the mood is set. its great! lyndzi

youre story is very good, you could use a little tiny bit more description, but you really dont have too, its allready very good! Lyndzi

you need to remember to capitalize at the beggining of sentances and naems of towns and villages etc. you also haev a couple of places where you need to add ...

I think it sounds like it is going to be a great story, I'll look for more on it! I like the way you showed her thoughts too, it sounds ...

wow thats crazy good! I actually piactured it in my mind, and i havn't done that with any body elses writing on here! That was seriously good! Lyndzi

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normally thats not my kinda reading, but it was really good, ur description was good too! lyndzi

ok i like it, a lot, but at the begining u talk about how not a lot of people believe in magic, but in the second paragraph you talk about ...

Just like the other comment about the discription, i read past that, and then had to read it, but its pretty good! lyndzi

Fighting wars with myself "You wanted to see me?" I asked the school secretary with interest. "Oh, Jane, your parents were here. They said there was an important letter that ...

Hi! Ummmm well i dont really know what to do, could some one please help me? thnx! lyndzi