lulu_lizzrd

She stood there, staring at them. They were on there knees, bowing to her, as they should be. Then the rain came down. A silk umbrella was put above her ...

Yes, yes! Then we need to dispose of these rebel leaders.” try a different wrod instead of dipose it souds repetitory Evil and malice filled the hearts of the two ...

She stood there, staring at them. They were on there knees, bowing to her, as they should be. Then the rain came down. A silk umbrella was put above her ...

firstly remember to double space for sure caught my attention, and for unknown reasons. you might want to re-write that sentance it doen't sound good I even smiled. the sentance ...

“Shush, you’ll have quite an effort on you’re body. You’ll need to stay in bed for a day or two more.” you might want to re write this sentance its ...

Amia ran through the grass hills ; the sheep, fat from winters weight, fallowed her in happy blissfulness. The winter had been long and cold. They had run low on ...

darted

wow this is really good i only have a few remmarks "Stress, Why is there stress bothring my rider?" you didnt spell bothering wright However we will be the target ...

"Lady Floure, my men have taken action, but what is it that you wanted all these dead rats and snakes for, my lady?" Questioned Tylore. His face expressionless, but Floure ...

A silver hair elf you should put silver hiared, because it isn't correct grmmer. This elf's name is MoonShine and this is where our story begins. you might want to ...

It sounds pretty good, but there was a few things I saw like here Unfortunately their conversation was interrupted by a mail voice from behind Nikki you do mean male ...

She stood there, staring at them. They were on there knees, bowing to her, as they should be. "Pitiful little things they are, they live in grub, mud, and pig ...

She stood there, staring at them. They were on there knees, bowing to her, as they should be. "Pitiful little things they are, they live in grub, mud, and pig ...

She stood there, staring at them. They were on there knees, bowing to her, as they should be. Then the rain came down. A silk umbrella was put above her ...

its pretty good, btu whenever a person or character etc. talkes you need to pu twhat they say on a new line, :arrow: forgetting what he was frightened him. that ...