lotti

Most sincerely thank you for the advice, its all been most helpful! Especially to curb my "purple prose" tendencies, and just generally improve the effect of my writing. =] Excalibur ...

Thank you Sureal, Sela Locke and Squall. Your comments have all helped me develop this story. But as you can see several more paragraphs have been added, so I'd like ...

Description is the thing for me. Like really expoling a moment in all its detail

After balencing my laptop upside down whilst scrolling too and fro lol Thats a very nice anime drawing XD lotti

Hi there I'm going to do an in-depth crit if you don't mind. The glass was getting wetter in the inside but icy cold to the touch on the outside. ...

Nice piece! I really liked the girls power, very inventive, but with the guy a reading minds power is held already by two vampires, so perhaps you could change that ...

O sod, thanks for the spelling mistake and the little letter, i do have problmes with that kind of stuff, all corrected. Ok, less flowery, got it, thanks you guys

Meh Purple prose, I can live with that in an epilogy. To be honest all my writng suffers from it. Thanks for review though, and gramer refrences. x

Short epilogue enjoy the increasing passages of overtly descriptive prose dialogue and action :) --------------------------------- Preface All natural colours bleed into grey with the on coming of nig

Well ive just took about three hours and read all of poisoned roses so far, when i was supossed to be doin coursework. lol But no regets because... wel that ...

hi olivia this is quite interesting, the whole sex and age debate, and adresing it in a peice of work. i'd like there to be more from each character, like ...

sorri about this i dont atually know who the quote correcly yet ive just picked up a few things that need changing [quote="JabberHut"] A Pure Love A distant growl rumbled ...

hi tabithalillian i just got your message, and sure il comment on your work. first off i really enjoy vampire/fantasy fiction, but so many people write in so we get ...

so yh ive added more now. i think this is kinda the first chapter, tho im not sure where it is going. read and review please!!! thanks

yes Arekkusu i like that line very much as well