lostnspiration

This bed is soft I think As I wait for the last of the streetlights outside to switch on And the frame squeaks every time I roll over And the ...

Haha I forgot the f word was in there. Oops.

Thanks for the advice. I actually have no clue where this is going, which is why it's so short and so vague.

Click click click Black heels strapped around delicate ankles connect audibly with the pavement, but Lily seems not to notice. The sound of her footsteps echoing off the looming buildings ...

If love is a place you fall into, where is it you're falling from You're insecurities? Perhaps, but isn't that what love transcends? So maybe... The everyday? This I pray ...

Thank you al!

Movement in darkness I slip out from beneath sordid sheets The eyes of my tempter follow my body Agate green and offering I make my movements slow and sensual To ...

I agree that the first two lines don't really flow well with the rest of the poem, but you have to keep some sort of reference to time/clocks there to ...

I agree with the two people above when it comes to the repetition. You could take the "I'm falling" line(s) out completely, and the poem would flow so much better.

[pre]There is no partitioning darkness in the artificial twilight of the city night Though I can see the stars of the metropolis shining from the balcony of my building The ...

I do agree that it could be tightened up a little at the beginning, but the imagery is beautiful.

It reads like spoken word. Some creative line breaks would help to emphasize the important parts and make it easier to read for those that aren't used to the kind ...

Hey, the name's Lostnspiration. Found this website while looking up poetry contests and it looked intriguing so I decided to join. I write lyric poetry, spoke word and prose, among ...