little.angelfire

Hmmm...about me? Well...I'm 16, I tend to say, "that's the bomb" or "I know, right?" and I like to say "like" a lot. I also think I sound like a ...

I think you should add a bit more to act one. I don't know much about plays, but I think to make it a bit more realistic, Victor should try ...

Thankfully there aren't many mistakes, like there shouldn't be. You must've looked it over, good girl ^.^. I'll point out the mistakes though. Just to help you out: "Suddenly the ...

I have to agree with everyone above. I'm not a poet, now am I very interested in poetry, but I think it does flow nicely, and that some puncuation might ...

Well, firstly I think you should look over you story a bit more before you post. Grammar and spelling mistakes are to be expected, but you have so many in ...

Jake I watched as my hands shook rapidly. I clenched my fists together, trying to keep my muscles from convulsing once more. Deep breaths prevented me from going over the ...

It was very good and the message is something a lot of people can relate to in my opinion. The song does seem to repeat itself throughout the verses. The ...

*sigh* You think you would've noticed what I was doing by now, Squall. Well, I'm not going to tell you what I'm doing, because that would just ruin the story ...

Chapter Two Toki “I…can’t…breathe.” I gasped as I stumbled out of my room. “D-dad…” I tripped over something in the hallway and fell with a thud, my banging against something ...

The first thing I would have to point out (and I really this is just me) but I'd be freaking out for a little bit longer if I was suddenly ...

I actually really really enjoy this and I'm ashamed to say that I can't say much that could improve it, I'm kinda drawing blanks. Of course there's the grammar and ...

Jake Everything’s so fuzzy. My head feels like it’s going to fall off. Is this real? What’s happening to me? “Jake? Oh God!” Who is that? The voice is so ...

wow, so many question >.< okay, there is a transition. That's what the stars are for what say you, is just the way the teacher talks. You may understand more ...

I found other grammar issues and little things like that, but I always leave them up to other people to look for. I do enjoy the innocent feel of the ...

Okay, I've actually been revising this story since 2004. This is the first idea I've ever had, and this is the one that you're going to see on bookshelves one ...