lilymoore

I have to agree with Jasmine as well. You’re forcing the rhyme scheme and it’s very noticeable. Sometimes you don’t have to rhyme in a poem. Take for instance this ...

Hello Kevo! We’ve never met before but I’m Lily and I’m awesome! :D I think this is very all over the place. The thing that would help this out would ...

Aushie! I know you didn’t request it as one of your three reward prizes but I figured I would review this one for you anyways. :D A cold wind blew ...

On to the next one, on to the next one! Well, the last one! Hi Radish! :D Niiiitpicks! No one said a thing else about it. “Else” sounds weird here. ...

Hey forest! Here for one of your reviews! There, was the synagogue down the street, burning, like a giant candle in the night. You’ve got a lot of commas here. ...

I’m baaack my Radish! Here for review numero dos. We've driven for hours—silent, sleepy, piled together like pebbles In our tiny car. I'm sitting next to my brother, asleep, apparently ...

Hello, SilentRain! I’m Lily, pleased to meet you! So, I like the idea of this poem. It’s very broad and usually I enjoy more focused poems more but the simple, ...

I’m baaaack. Hehe! Knickknacks fill shelves on both sides of the television that is old fashioned and tiny. This sentence really buggers me for some reason. I think it would ...

Hello my Radish! Lily here to repay the reviews I owe you! :D Silence the wind with your Pounding clod-feet. Something about this sounds, uncomfortable, due, at least to my ...

Hey Stori. Okay, you said that this was an assignment to write a descriptive piece. But I think you lost the descriptiveness of this piece. I mean, obviously this is ...

Hey Silly, it’s Lily! Haha, that rhymes! Anywaaays… I think you have a good idea here but I think your poem lacks a strong structure. It lacks much structure at ...

Hey, beanut! :P Here as I promised I would be! First of all, I have just a couple of nitpicks that I wanted to point out. “What did you do?” ...

I picked the worst night to make plans with the girls. Gaaah! *panics*

E.B. White! *squee* Okay, I see that Isabella took care of all of the nitpicks that I saw so I won’t sit here and repeat everything she said. But this ...

Hi inkwell. Break me the sunset in a cup; This is actually the only line I don’t really like. Somehow, I feel like exchanging ‘break’ with ‘give’ would make this ...