lilyjacobs

The last thing I heard was a big smack. Then I regained my consciousness in the school infirmary. I woke up in one of their stiff, board-like uncomfortable beds of ...

THanks for the review. A little response, showers were painful emotionally. She doesn't like remembering how she got those scars. And also this story is based off of a true ...

Pretty short chapter for what you've written before, but very good. I thought it was a little stragne that you named his father. Or that you called him by his ...

Sorry I couldn't read this till now. I'm liking this chick, 'Red'. She's cool. Very outspoken. She knows who she is and what she likes and doesn't like and that's ...

Prologue I was born with a round face, round rosy cheeks and red lips. I will never get over people thinking I’m as innocent as a child. Because they will ...

So i can already tell from the previous comments that you've edited you story a lot. I have to say from what I read of the previous quotes that the ...

Well this is off to a pretty good start. For one, its very intruiging and I like where you're going with this. I also like your writing. i didn't get ...

Damn! And well done! Did not expect that twist right there. But its pretty amazing so far. Keep writing. I wanna see what happens with them.

I walked down a street that I knew very well, though it had changed throughout the years. I kept my steady pace. My boots tapped lightly on the cobblestones. My ...

Wow. That made my heart beat faster. You write really good sex scenes. Its very sad at the same time. I'm glad you didn't describe the corpse beyond, "his still ...

Okay, so... I love it. It describes a lot of the characters floating around in my head too. I was a little surprised that she was only in ninth grade, ...

Thanks! I do notice those weak spots and I appreciate you actually reading it like an editor. I've posted the story on other sites and all I get are, 'good ...

Wow, this is really very good. I liked the time changes, though it was a bit confusing in the beginning. I would love to read more.

Prologue I was out having a good time at a club in Chicago with some of my house brothers. The place was called Burning Skulls. It was a rock/dance club. ...

I read through this chapter and its great! A little confusing at times and I do wish that at certain moments you would take more time to describe the scene, ...