lightflight101

I LOVED it you did such a great job. The sentece i think you should fix is "Also, her face, free from cake-like make-up some girls pack into their pores." ...

I really liked it. You left me hanging and i'm dieing to know what comes next. When the man with the clip board is about to go back to hell ...

I could feel the magic and excitment vibrating off of your main charector. I really liked it you did a great job creating the setting and having the charectors drift ...

I liked it alot. It did a really good job of keeping my attention and made me think about what may happen nexted. There are a few spelling mistakes like ...