leebass

Hi, yeah i liked this. A few mistakes i've marked. You say you were nine when you found out the 'truth' about your grandfather's death, but you never say what ...

Hi, i didn't spot any punctuation or grammar mistakes. I enjoyed reading your story, you have a good vocabulary and you use it sparingly. I mean you don't always try ...

Hi. I really liked this. Both characters are vivid and i can imagine them as real people. The plot is simple yet effective. The dialogue is realistic, although the girl ...

This is more of a hallucination than a story. A bunch of images thrown together. There's no narrative throughout it and it just leaves me feeling a bit cold. It ...

You're a bit enthusiastic with commas in this i'll put them in brackets. It sounds good so far, keep working at it! :D I wake up to find my face ...

Hi. I thought it was well written and you captured the MC's emotions well. I kept on getting the feeling that the story was set in a different era though. ...

Hi, i like your story. The description of the ghost/monster is excellent, just enough description to get a horrible image in my mind :). The only thing was it was ...

Read Geek Love by Katherine Dunn. Kind of dark, but funny and moving at the same time. Also 'House of Leaves' - Can't recommend this enough. Look it up and ...

Hi. I thought the twist was worked in well to your story, when you drop the hint 'i may be dead but i still have feelings'. I thought the description ...

Hi. I found this intersting and confusing. In the story Mary meets Desperate, i think it's clear this isn't an actual person. Maybe she's an alter ego or just a ...

Hi. This isn't really a story at all. There's no plot. I know two people are getting married but that's just something that's going to happen, it's not the same ...

Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami. Basically, it's...well I don't want to spoil anything, because it's full of surprises, but I'll introduce the two main characters: 1: Kafka Tamura, ...

Hi. This is really unusual. It sounds more like poetry than a story, to me. Maybe if you reorganised it into a poetic structure it would sound and look a ...

Hi, umm i corrected the grammar anyway because i had already started doing it. I found this really moving and i think a lot of people can relate to how ...

Hi. There's a real tension throughout the story which i like. When you say 'The mouth was drawn with crayon' is this a metaphor or literal? If it's a metaphor ...