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larztheloser

  • Short Story » General, General Re: Mountain Journey

    Hi You, We read your tale with great interest. In particular we liked the sense of metanarrative and clever use of adjectives. Howsoever, dearest mountain, I feel the need to ...

    Mon May 23, 2011 4:09 am
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Observations and Musings.

    Hey, You seem to want something very specific, so here goes... Should I scrap it? Personally I never scrap writing, I just go away for a while and then come ...

    Fri Jan 21, 2011 12:17 am
  • Article / Essay » General, General Re: "Oedipus the king" essay

    Hey, The one thing that is clear is that you understand the play. All the basic structural elements are there for an amazing essay. Your spelling and grammar is good ...

    Thu Jan 20, 2011 11:51 pm
  • Article / Essay » General, General Re: Why Religion hurt Us.

    Hey Keith, First thing I'm going to say is that this is clearly a very well-thought through essay that you have put quite a bit of time in to. The ...

    Thu Jan 20, 2011 11:22 pm
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: No Longer Emily

    That's a REALLY good piece! I love your opening, I love the sheer power and passion behind your work, and I love your characterization (certainly reminds me of To Kill ...

    Fri Jun 18, 2010 9:59 am
  • Other » General, General Re: A Modest Proposal: In Regards to the BP Oil Spill

    Not bad ... some criticism: 1) Be careful with their and they're 2) Don't make up a whole bunch of plans starting with the word "Top" and then pretend BP ...

    Tue Jun 01, 2010 6:55 am
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Undeadly Suicide of Hope

    PARAGRAPHING!!!! Apart from that you build a compelling narrative, for whatever reason I'm imagining Julia daughter of Augustus. I would have liked additional incentive to read your piece, a simile ...

    Tue May 11, 2010 10:44 am
  • Other » General, General Re: An Elwick Tragedy

    Wow. This is excellent! You have good mastery of repetition, sentence construction. I also like the sort of introspective interior monologue you've got going on. And unlike Navita, I love ...

    Mon May 10, 2010 5:13 am
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Ponder Outloud.

    As well as the cussing thing, I would add for any kind of story, readers will be asking one question only: why am I reading this? So you're developing a ...

    Thu May 06, 2010 10:24 am
  • Short Story » General, General Re: wounded part 1 (plz reveiw:)))

    Hey screamandshout, So I gather you're trying to write a very emotional piece. The one major criticism I can offer is that given this, many of the ideas come across ...

    Tue May 04, 2010 12:01 am


Writing is like love: the real thing is a lot less romantic
— dragonfphoenix