krazywriter

Thanks for the review! I do recommend that you read the chapters in order, as it makes a lot more sense and will avoid spoiling things. Randi is the actual ...

Thanks for the ideas. I get what you're after with the dialogue thing. Just be careful with your example sentences. Try- "No way." Jamie stood up from his chair. "I ...

No, it's not a flashback.

Uhh, lcu? Could you explain your first paragraph a little better? I'm not sure I know what you mean.

Ages are important in this story. That's why I bother to tell you how old everyone is. And I totally agree with your suggestion on the last paragraph. Thanks for ...

Thanks! Yep, I caught that mistake myself. I guess I forgot to change it. And yes, I'm leading up to a more interesting chapter. Sorry if it gets a little ...

Thanks! Lots of useful comments here. I thought this chapter was a bit dull. Your input is very helpful. "Guardians" is the term Nathaniel and his friends use to describe ...

Thanks. I'll keep that in mind.

Yeah, you're right. The last paragraph seems kind of thrown in there. Silly of me to put a break right before it to separate it from the rest of the ...

By "what the Black Moon really means" do you mean where did they come up with the name or something about the creature itself? I'm considering adding a little more ...

I've read lots of books where the prologue seemingly has nothing to do with the story until the end. I attempted to do my own version of that. As for ...

Explain the position of the words to me. It adds an interesting effect, but I'm not a hundred percent sure I understand it. I like the poem, though. You start ...

That's quite the story you've got. So touching. The girl is so easy to identify with, even if you've never seen such a thing. Your descriptions are so vivid. I ...

Very nice! Great descriptions! I like the line "I have seen the squirrels collecting acorns, before going to rest in the very trees that provide them with food." That's something ...

Excuse me, but why did you put that here? And why did you write the same thing five times? This is not what I would consider a review, and it ...