kokobeans

I like this piece. It's funny and very witty, you've captured the characters well. My only suggestion would be to repeat the others, it needs a little more description and ...

I love this! A fantastic use of imagary and metaphors, it's really something to think on. This may not be very helpful as I can't really see any mistakes or ...

I really like this, great use of imagary. (I shall one day learn to spell that word. Just a few this I couldn't get my head around. What's 'spiderweb sans' ...

Wow this is so beautiful, I love it. There's a good rythm all the way through, and your rhymes are great aswell. I can't find much to comment on, just ...

I really like this. It's a very gripping story and caught my attention straight away. There are a few cliches that could be taken out. There's also a basic rule ...

Once again I'm very impressed. I love your work. You've got a lot of talent. I really like the layout. 'and-I-fell-in- ......with gasping breaths' This is a good idea and ...

This is a great start. 'Drinking my essence and all the people around me', sounds fine. If you want to change it you could write '...and that of the people...' ...

Much easier to read. Good job. Another tip - a lot of people who comment your work will probably check back anyway to see improvements. You don't have to repost. ...

A really good poem, and very genuine. I can't think of anything particularly good or bad about this. The lines and verses all worked together really well. The last line ...

I love it. This is a great poem and a very smart title. It confused me at first, but I like the way the whole thing is linked together, so ...

I've not seen or read Full metal alchemist (I assume that's FMA). Is this a novel version of FMA or is it just based on the idea? I do like ...

Nice work. I really like the way you add details like the characters movements to the conversation. Your descriptions could do with a little work. Try imagining the scenes clearly ...

I really like this, you've got some great ideas. Your writing needs a little polishing up though. I'd recommend you have a browse around the internet for some basic writing ...

A brilliant piece of work. It's very origional. I love the way you've managed to bring the characters to life, as well as keeping Paige a patially likeable character, despite ...

Some good ideas, but i confess i skimmed a lot of the first few paragraphs. It's a bit too much information at once. Maybe you could try combining it with ...