kmb_7803

Thank you for reviewing this! I will definitely clean the organization up.

Seriously, anyone want to review this???

Hi Kelly, welcome to YWS! Any questions, give us a PM!

You switched tenses. Be careful of this, it makes the story disjointed. if you meant to have it like this I seriously suggest changing it to continue flow. "The tears ...

1. The interview. “Jesus Christ, it’s early,” I think bitterly as my perfect dream world is shattered by the radio edited version of “My Humps”. The thought, saturated in sarcasm ...

lovable

lovable

8/9.5 beautiful imagery. Nice. I really like it. “Jesus Christ, it’s early,” I think bitterly as my perfect dream world is shattered by the radio edited version of “My Humps”.

I am supposed to be writing a short story, but it is now way too long, and I have to add more background and depth to the beginning. So after ...

Scene one goes way too fast for my taste. As other writers have pointed out, you could lengthen it quite a bit. Maybe the mother wants to talk to Carlyn ...

I liked this. It was honest, youthful, and naive, sort of, all at the same time. But there was one other thing about it. Sometimes the writing was juvenile. I ...

I really loved the twist at the ending. please, PM me when you post more. I would love more background on some of the characters, but I'm sure that's coming ...

I would really like to see some more detail in setting. I feel like half the chapter is missing. More detail, especially in the first paragraph would be magnificent.

Hi, I'm Kate. I'm new, obviously. I typically write short stories, of many topics and genres. I would love to meet you! Really, yes, you! Show me the ropes, talk ...