kefkaeatsbabies

I think you don't use punctuation to it's fullest extent so the piece, despite it's length, doesn't flow entirely well. There are so many periods in the non dialogue paragraphs ...

Maybe it's just me, but I think something this cynical, despite the situation it spawned from in your life, is almost always accented very effectively with humor, which this lacks. ...

In the first sentence "use" should be switched to "used" and, if it were me, I wouldn't use "flood" to describe both your emotions and tears. Use a synonym. When ...